Someone carved this into a table backstage. I don’t know who it was but to think that I may have encountered them at one point or even just read their name somewhere on a wall is amazing.i wonder about the person who carved that and i wonder if their life is okay
Someone got yelled at for eating a whole sweet potato
i hate small talk
tell me about how lonely you are or tell me about why you keep waking up in the morning or talk to me about your mum’s eyes and your dad’s laugh. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going.
if we just met and u try and tell me how lonely you are i will turn 180 degrees and walk away
if you were invisible, would you still be able to see with your eyes closed??
the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
Photos taken on the days Matt Smith chose his 11th Doctor costume. Some pretty cool variations before finally deciding “bow-ties are cool”.
Bow ties will always be cool.
- Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
- Boy: I know.
- Girl: I love you!
- Boy: I love you more!
- *After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
- Girl: Where is he?
- Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
- Girl: (Starts crying)
- Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.
you know what would be funny though
is if you got up one morning and your guy is like “i made coffee for you” and you reply “i’m not thirsty right now, but thanks” and he puts the coffee in your hands and he’s goes ”no you have to drink it” and you look at him incredulously and repeat “but i’m not thirsty” and he’s like “drink it” and you refuse to and he just follows you around throughout the day, carrying the same cup of coffee and begging you “please drink it” and you’re so confused because it’s four in the afternoon and you don’t even like coffee
if you’re about to die, might as well try.
he puts his hands up like he’s pleading and catches the guy completely off guard. i mean. he’s got a gun. guy’s on his knees. he feels totally safe and in control of the situation. then the guys hands are right next to the gun and he surprises him and immediately tilts the weapon up and away from him and yanks the arm down while thrusting his legs forward to kneecap the guy and manages to wrench the gun away
so shit now the second guy is on the ground with probably a broken knee and no gun and the first guy has the weapon and is fucking free and clear remember this me you need to remember this
Disney Princess Movies before and after name changes.
"how can we improve these titles?"
nobody came to his birthday party
SHUT UP OKAY THAT MADE ME REALLY FREAKING SAD OKAY LOOK HOW SWEET AND CUTE HE LOOKS POOR BABY
I would’ve come to his birthday party
His OTP just got engaged. He’s understandably in fangirl mode.
lucky bastard got to watch it in person while we were stuck watching it happen on a movie screen